Super Mom Syndrome

Super mom: Mom Does it All

Yes. Our days are busy, hard and long.  However, you cannot afford to stay in your home 24/7.  Some of you would say that you prefer to stay home.  I believe that is true.  Even if you are 100% a homebody, you must get out. chrysalis-140878_1280

Why? Because friendships outside of our homes give us a  different perspective and  provide understanding and encouragement that our 3 year old cannot voice or even our husband.   Its important for you to know what you think and who you are.  You may not realize that if you are unwilling to let go of the kids for a few hours, you won’t receive the benefit of deeper relationships.  Another side effect of not getting out is that your children believe that they control your time.  Relationships outside of our cocooned family bring that different perspective in a natural way.

Friends enrich our lives by giving encouragement, possibly necessary correction and in a healthy way,   drawing our focus outside of ourselves to become better wives, moms, friends, and daughters.    This happens if we choose our friends wisely.  (see the blog post “How’s The Roller Coaster Ride?”)

As moms, our children drive our conversations. Have you ever said, “I need to talk with someone over the age of 7?”

 Having time apart from your family and home, even for a short time, can revitalize you and help you appreciate your family more. 

 Separation from your family will also allow your family to appreciate you more, and who doesn’t want to feel appreciated?   Now is the time to schedule time for you to get out.  No excuses.  Your children and husband need you to be encouraged.  

Still not convinced? How about this quote:  “Rest is a condition of liberty, slaves don’t rest. We don’t need to do it all, all the time!” by  Ruth Schwenk

Stop thinking that you are the only one who can do the jobs at home. You act as if “poor me…I have to do it all” and turn everyone down.  You can end up there especially if you have criticized the way your husband does things so that he thinks, “I was just trying to help. I won’t do that again just to get fussed at; she can do it herself!” Allow your husband some time alone with the children.  Your husband is a unique individual with his own relationship to cultivate with your children. He should not be a clone of you, and trying to make him one is a sure way to cause him to back off and let you do everything.  He may not do the dishes or put the children to bed the way you would; it’s OK!  You are a team.  Team members encourage one another; they do not critique each other.

You and your children will be much better off if you step out the door and spend time with  others. Home schooling has many benefits, but the dangers are real and could cost you dearly.  Please heed my warning, and work on the foundation of your family which is your marriage.  Be open to stretching and allowing your children different experiences.    Then build meaningful relationships with people, and give yourself permission to let some things go and get out.
We must be alert to the dangers. What is it for you? Is it your marriage?  Do you have tunnel vision?  Do you fail to get away by yourself or with others?   Be the person your family needs, and start taking care of yourself.

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