Here you are. Your kids need to change. Is it really your children or is it YOU? Think about your attitude that comes through your responses to your offspring. Do you even want them around?
What is your home like? Would you say it is peaceful or chaotic? Of course, we are all going to have bad days, but overall would you say it is difficult to be home? So many of us have arrived at parenthood with expectations and pie-in-the-sky ideals. It only takes a few minutes to realize that order and enjoyment is not going to just happen.
Once your sweet children start speaking what do you hear?
“He looked at me!”
“She took my toy!”
“He hurt me!”
“He always goes first!”
Problems, Problems, Problems. What you need are solutions! You need a plan to respond in a mature, right way.
Here are the ABC’s to get you started.
What do you do when you have a run-in with one of your precious children?
Do you go toe-to-toe with them…and lose?
Are you a reactor? If you react, then you lose. They lose the lesson, and you take one step backward.
Step number one would involve checking our own attitudes.
Check out your behavior; it will reveal your attitude. What do you say or not say to your children? How do you handle yourself? Are you someone that is respectable?
Your children do not naturally do and say things right. They are an immature you! You to the extreme. Yes, they can be painful reminders of the areas in which you still need to grow. Are you prepared to be the example of how to demonstrate patience, self control, perseverance and a myriad of other traits?
Now is not the time to yell, nag, give the silent treatment or call a friend and complain. It is time to see your behavior and decide to do something different to get out of this vicious cycle.
How do you move from seeing the negative behavior in your child to building character-yours, as well as your child’s?
1. Let Reality be the teacher.
LEARN to be quiet! You don’t have to lecture.
NO RESCUING! Let your child discover the results of his poor decisions. It’s hard to hit the bull’s-eye on this one. If you buffer him from feeling the results of his disobedience, then he will not learn any lesson from it. This may be one of the hardest things for moms to do.
NO POUNDING allowed! Don’t go to the extreme and remind your child of her mistakes. You were young once too. Remember children are a work in progress. In fact, as parents we often fall short as well. It’s called grace. Overlook things when you can. Love her despite her weaknesses. Isn’t that the same treatment that you would want?
There is a much better way!
Wait for the moment to teach. Allow your child to be late or not turn in his work. Don’t react out of frustration. His heart will be closed to your words.
In Conclusion: Could you say this of yourself in relationship with your children….?
Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me–put it into practice! Often we can see our child’s need to change, but we overlook ourselves.
In order for us to expect our children to have character, we must be willing to be their example.
Here is a great resource for getting started today. http://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/spiritual-growth-for-kids/character-crew/citizenship