Mentors are missing in our world today. In the old days, it was expected that the older women teach the younger women. But in our culture people are so busy they barely have time to keep up their own lives let alone to care about other people. Do you ever feel like you are alone on a roller coaster?
We are on a wild ride. You know the feeling. You wake up with your heart pounding. So much to do and so little time. Then come the difficulties, the set backs, the “drops”. Have you ever been on a roller coaster with no idea where the track would hurtle you next? What about the turns? Your world is turned upside down – a sick child, a husband laid off or a friend moves away. Whether we like it or not we all get on the roller coaster at one time or another. I would guess most of us don’t see it as fun, but painful. And we would prefer to get off.
Don’t panic; and please don’t jump. Take a deep breath, and realize that many others have been on this ride before you. Each ride is a bit different, but similar in lots of ways.
I want to encourage you to “enjoy the ride” the rewards are great. You will be able to give others the courage to do the same.
Options for the Parenting Ride.
You have not ever been on this ride. Each drop is terrifying. You don’t feel like you can make it. No one warned you how scary this would feel. As you look ahead, you dread all of the unknowns. How will you survive?
We can be emotionally gone, but physically present. You know what I mean. “Hmmm, uh huh, sure….” We aren’t engaged or even listening. If you have spent any time around a mom whose children have left home you will hear, “It goes so fast. You will miss them when they are grown. Enjoy them!” So I say: Don’t regret these days, Live them!
Invite a mentor to sit beside you:
Here is the correct answer! What each one of us needs is a mentor. Do you have one? That is the question. It is a step of humility. You are inviting someone into your life…who will find out you aren’t perfect. By the way, perfection isn’t the goal. We are all broken in some way or another. The sooner you come to terms with that the better you will be able to help your children deal with their problems. The person you choose should be available, wise (ahead of you in the parenting, marriage) willing and able to encourage you. Choose someone you respect and admire.
How to invite someone to sit alongside you:
- Let them know what qualities that you see in her.
- Tell her you are looking for a seasoned woman who is willing to give insight and perspective.
- Meet with the person a few times before asking to meet with her consistently (once or twice a month)
- Keep in mind that you are able to encourage your mentor as well. By thinking of others, it will help you get out of your world.
- Be open to someone else’s input. Consider what she says. Ask questions to allow her to give her opinion. Let her know when you have listened and her advice helped!
With a mentor next to you, the ride becomes enjoyable and definitely not as scary.