If you are like the majority of parents, you wonder how respect was even possible in previous generations.
Many of us have not developed good habits in the way of demonstrating authority. Either you are your child’s friend, or you have resorted to being a dictator in your home.
The good news is that there are some principles to incorporate in your home that will make all the difference. Guess what! It is not your kids who need to change. The solution lies within you, the parent. For me, the book that unlocked this parenting maze was Have a New Kid by Friday by Kevin Leman. In reality it is have a new parent by Friday, and see your children transform.
Warning! You can “try” to apply these principles and then give up too soon. You can also overdo the strategies and be an even scarier authoritarian.
If there are two parents in the home, both parents must be in on this plan together. Children need to have parents that are united and firm.
Ok. Take a deep breath. Go buy the book. Have a New Kid by Friday
I have witnessed a drastic change in my 3 children. The areas that have been changed include: work habits, response to my direction, willingness to go above and beyond, and attentiveness to my directions the first time.
I would encourage you to buy the book, or if you commute or work around the house give the audio book a try. However, don’t expect to demand obedience from your children without you changing a few things. Here are a few keys that have helped me. Honestly, my habits are the hardest to break.
#1 Don’t talk too much.
Are you the parent that tells your children everything including consequences, reasons, emotions, warnings? I would encourage you to just STOP! Give a direction and walk away. Yup! Walk away. And get things done. This is quite freeing. I have gotten a lot more of my jobs completed by not staying and trying to make my children listen. You also hold your children accountable for what you said. It helps them to pay closer attention to you when you speak.
#2 Above all else, remain calm.
As a mom, I am incredibly emotional. If I truly want to cultivate respect in my home I must be respectable. I can make excuses about why I should be exempt from having to handle situations calmly: I’m worn out. I don’t have enough help. My children are too difficult. The truth is my children need me to be the adult. I cannot scream and let loose on them and then turn around and expect them to demonstrate self control.
#3 If you stick to your plan, life will smooth out.
Sometimes our children’s consequences become ours as well. (no party, no trip to the library, no swimming, etc.) No worries. Eventually, they will become enjoyable people that will gain a respect for you. And in a short time, you can go to your planned activities.
Obviously, our children are not robots that we can control. They are individuals who are in need of parents who will lead and follow through. You can be that parent!
You can change your habits and watch your kids change theirs.