Chores bring families together.
What is your philosophy of your children working in your home? Are they too young, too busy, too resistant or are you too picky?
It is work to train your kids to do chores well and to follow through. Many parents choose to avoid the battle altogether. They avoid it until, the grass is too long and their teenage son is fifteen years old and is not equipped to do the simplest jobs around the house let alone mow the grass. Then enough is enough…and it is an uphill battle.
There are ways to get the family on board. Here are some basics that can keep you moving in the right direction:
- Be clear with your expectations
- Follow through with consequences and rewards (coming up in a future post)
- Be nearby
- Start small and increase their load. You want to see them follow through (You will also need to learn to follow through)
The biggest obstacle to establishing any system in your house is YOU, the parent.
You must train your child to work. He needs to know the value of hard work and to be prepared to work hard as an adult. Don’t put this off! You must see yourself as one who will equip your children for life. However old your child is, get the vision for starting to encourage them to be a worker. “You are raising a man, not the little boy you see.”
The jobs in our home are constantly changing as the kids grow in age. If all goes well the older your kids are the more responsibility they should have.
In a broadcast on Focus on the Family, it stated that research shows that in many homes teens do not feel needed. Jobs around the house are trite and too easy. Parents often want to avoid conflict so very little expectations are placed their growing teen. If they do have responsibilities, they are token in nature. No one is actually relying on them to keep the household functioning. In fact, as a society we have missed the importance of hard work and have switched to a system of entitlement and ease. Teens would say they do not have the satisfaction of a job well done, but instead indignant that they should not have to work. While feeling unneeded by their families, many of them wander aimlessly looking for ways to be needed by others.
As a mom with younger kids, I want to do my best to work and play as a family. I need my children to learn how to work hard and enjoy our time together. And sometimes I might even catch them singing as they are washing the dishes.
Ideally we should have work integrated into our family lives – making it a natural part of the family’s day. Understanding that each member is needed to make the house run well. It’s part of being a family. Wouldn’t it also be better to use this as a time with them, teaching them and guiding them?
Don’t think for one minute that I think this is easy. It is work. Some days are definitely harder than others. Unfortunately as the parents how we view work effects our children’s view of chores. How do you view work? Do you tackle it and get it done or do you put it off for another day?
(Take a few minutes and answer these important questions)
What household chores have you allowed your child to do?
How do you communicate to your children?
Do your children have time to help in the home?
The bottom line – chores are a process and it will cost you the parent, time and energy. The question is do you want to spend the time now (when they are teachable) or later?