You may be excited to begin home schooling or you might be trudging along hoping that this year goes better than the year before. As I reflected on my past 5 years of home schooling I realized that there were some key areas that we must protect – our marriages, our view of life and our sanity – we are not super heroes.
Danger Number 1
Your children need you to love their daddy. If you do that part well, your children will have a security that they cannot get any other way. Too many home school moms put home schooling as the law of the land. If your husband does not agree with home schooling. I say, “Listen to him and follow his lead”. Recently, a mom, I will call Sabrina, surprised me by saying that her husband decided she should home school her son. The year prior, Sabrina had listened to her husband. He was concerned about socialization. Their son attended a public school. During the year, many negative socialization issues came up that concerned Sabrina’s husband. By the end of the year, he decided it was time to bring his son home. It was his choice.
If you and your spouse agree that homeschooling is the way to go, terrific. However, even with good intentions, moms often can become obsessed with their children. I know because I experience this quandry. How can I spend time with my husband when I have lessons to prepare, cleaning to do and food to prepare? The real question is how can I put my husband on hold when our relationship holds our family together? On a daily basis it is hard to put this into practice. The priority is the marriage, remember that!
Your relationship with your husband must be a priority. This was made clear to me when I invited Laura to speak to our group. I had known her family for years. They had always seemed like a wonderful home school family. Her kids were now grown. I had invited her to share her story. Her story took a twist I did not expect. She sadly stated that she had great intentions, but she and her husband had grown apart during the home school years. His role was to provide; he did provide. But now as the kids were gone, the distance was obvious. If they could survive, they would have to start all over. I hope they were able to repair the damage of at least 18 years of growing apart; I don’t know what happened to them.
Another area that I see in my own marriage is that I have a question to answer daily. Will I step into my husband’s world or will I expect him to step into mine? By nature I want the world to revolve around me. My attitude greatly effects my home. If he doesn’t ask the right questions about my day, I can surmise that he doesn’t care about me and the children. Instead, I am learning to smile, listen and ask questions about his day. Then in time he asks about my day. Don’t we expect our children to care about others first? We also get frustrated if they expect the world to be all about them. Yet, as wives we have a hard time honoring our husbands above ourselves.
Its a choice.
Will you decide to:
Be a free agent and do as you please?
Do things your way and keep your distance?
Choose your children over your marriage?
I urge you to get help if you sense that any of these attitudes has set in. Counseling does help. Find friends or mentors who have a strong marriage and learn from them..
Your marriage is worth the effort! The generations that are yet to come will benefit.
TO BE CONTINUED……….